Azure
by Souvenir
Summary: Can you mourn the loss of something you don't remember? Pence always wrote poetry, but when he and Hayner find a mysterious haiku from that peculiar summer, they begin to question both their memories and the things around them.


**a/n: I am in love with Kingdom Hearts...but I do not own it. **

**I am really pleased with how this oneshot came out...it's probably one of my favorites. There is mild shounen ai, and this piece is Pence-centric. I don't think people give Pence the credit he deserves...**

**anyway, this is a piece about one simple fact: sometimes you have to forget in order to move on. I hope you enjoy it; and it would mean a lot to me if you left a review. **

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The boy with the dark hair watched from the comfort of a lone corner, pencil in hand as he wrote haikus. His fair haired companion was playing video games for the third day this week---it had been like this ever since school started and the three of them---Olette was currently visiting an aunt--- underwent a terrible, mysterious withdrawal.

Pence had always been the quiet one, or so he thought.

On days like these, with the sun filtering through the feeble curtain that separated the usual spot from the rest of twilight town, and Hayner's energetic voice bouncing off the walls, Pence felt…. _itchy. _It was very unpleasant.

His hand cramped and the pencil hung loose in his fixed fingers.

"You ok?" Hayner had put the game on pause to look at his best friend in concern. Pence had been---heck, _all _of them had been acting strange. Even the stable member of their playful gang, Olette, was behaving oddly.

"I'm….fine. Hayner, have I always been….the way I am now?" Pence looked at his friend with brown inquisitive eyes. In the past weeks he'd lost a fair amount of weight, and his customary red shirt bagged around his waist. He put it down to the imaginary itch—it made him take long walks around town, aimlessly. And his favorite food, sea salt ice cream, held no more appeal.

But that wasn't what he meant by the question, and Hayner understood.

"I'd like to say…you've always been this way. But you know what? I'm not sure. I just…don't know. I feel so disoriented. As if up is only up because that's what it used to be. It could have changed, Pence! It….things…could have changed."

"You really think so?"

A look flitted across Hayner's face then. "….nah! We're probably just bored, now that school's in…"

Pence should have been able to read the mischeivous twinkle in his friend's eye by now, but the taller boy still caught him unawares when he leapt and tackled him to the floor.

"St---stop!" He gasped, laughing. The notebook that he'd been carrying around for half a year, filled with haikus, slipped to the floor. A page from the first half of the book stuck out, and Hayner abandoned his attack to examine it.

"I thought you said you didn't write anything in that part of the notebook?" Hayner half accused---he was a big fan, (and, unknowst to him, inspiration) of Pence's poetry.

"But, I didn't. I don't know where that came from."

Hayner frowned. "It's your handwriting. Let's read it."

"_Bluer than sky or_

_Ocean. It's either ice cream_

_Or your eye color." _

"That's strange," Hayner said. "My eyes are brown…Olette's are green. Who do you know with blue eyes?"

"Hey, now---it's not mine. I didn't write this." Pence answered carefully. There was a strange tone in Hayner's voice.

"Impossible---it was in your notebook, and your handwriting….and doesn't Seifer have blue eyes?"

"I didn't write it…_Seifer? _Are you crazy? Why would I write a haiku about him?

…wait a second. You're _jealous_, aren't you?"

"Don't flatter yourself, Pence."

"It actually bothers you?"

"No. It doesn't. _Leave it alone_."

"But--"

"Fine! You want to know? Yes, it bothers me. It bothers me that I don't think I think the same way I used to. It bothers me that Olette only ever smiles halfway anymore, and yesterday I caught myself thinking it was always that way. It bothers me that you can write something like that and then forget about it. It bothers me that my best friend…my best friend….my--"

"You…you lied. You really _do _think things have changed."

"…yeah."

"I wonder why they did." Pence didn't know it, but that was the great part about him---he spent far more time on asking why than acceptance.

"Me too. But…then…the poem. It's not about Seifer?"

"…if I did write it….and I'm not saying I did---then I don't think so. I can't even remember what color eyes he has, actually."

"Oh. Pence?"

"Yeah?"

"Hold still."

The kiss didn't exactly surprise Pence---for a long time he'd sensed something of the sort directed towards him from Hayner. But the care with which the other boy kissed him, gracing his mouth with a taste that was reminiscent of sea salt ice cream….that was unexpected. And Pence couldn't shake the fact that something had changed to make it that way.

At the time, neither noticed the scrap of paper be lifted by the wind and fly out the window, where the memory of Roxas sailed across the blue, blue ocean.

…as if it sensed that it was no longer needed.

* * *

The next week, when Olette skipped through the door, her face was radiant. There was a new light in her eyes.

"I guess I just had to get away!" She said before sitting on the old used sofa.

"Wow…" Pence said. "Your eyes are so vibrant today, Olette. You look really happy…I wonder if the person from the poem was really happy, too?"

Hayner gave a small start then.

"What poem did you write about eyes in, Pence?" His friend's voice caught, frantic for a moment.

"I….hey, that's funny. I can't remember ever writing something like that. I guess I must have dreamed it, sorry." Pence cast a worried glance at Hayner, but the boy didn't frown. He just smiled encouragingly.

And Pence knew that---maybe it wasn't ok to forget. How could it be, after all? It had to be a sin…forgetting something that must have been truly important to them all.

But Pence sensed that….he would be forgiven.

He'd never remember Roxas. So he would never know for sure that his assumption was correct.

But of course it was.

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**I hope you liked it! Please tell me your thoughts!**


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